We chuckled because this admission had clearly been weighing her with guilt. Funny that such a banal thing should seem like such a big deal (not that I'm saying the lounge was banal, just that compared to other confessions this was pretty domestic... Something like "I was once a man!" would have suited her level of embarrassment more). Anyway I really didn't think anything of it, other than feeling sorry for her that she felt she needed to confess this fact to everyone she knew.
Shine the interrogation spotlight in this direction, and hear to me squeel:
"I'll be wearing a white wedding dress!" ... I take a sharp intake of breath and hold it for the response.
I know, I know, most of you out there will be thinking, "Um Der, Yeah". So why do I feel as though I need to confess this fact to everyone?
It's because alot of people I've told this to so far have looked at me as if I've just told them I'll be wearing this:
It's true, I never thought I would ever wear a white wedding dress myself, and this is probably adding to my troubles and other peoples surprise. But the shocked double takes are starting to make me feel a little insecure. And that's just when I tell them the colour, what's going to happen when I'm actually wearing it?
I didn't pay alot for it, and it didn't come from a wedding dress shop, but essentially my dress is going to look "the part".
I was nervous when I bought it, but I thought it was just the fact that I looked so bridey in it, which I wasn't expecting, but that I'd get used to it. I'm discovering now that there seems to be such a stigma about it that I didn't expect. As I'm trying to work all this out I think perhaps many people assume that women that choose to wear white dresses:
A) Have one of those creepy 600 page wedding scrapbooks they've been keeping since they were 5 years old, and have just been on the hunt for a real man to act it all out with
B) Thinks undeniably that wedding day is all about her, and how she looks
C) The choice of dress will be tacky
D) And the wedding will be all ice sculptures, smoke machines, cheesy wedding singers with bad comb-overs, and Mariah Carey music.
Since when did the word "bride" become such an unfashionable term inducing shivers in all who use it? And when did wearing white become such a taboo? I'm blaming these vixens...
On the weekend we went to a Wedding Expo (more gasps)... It was a very small regional one, so we weren't too daunted about going, and Mr You was the one who convinced me to go, saying when else are we going to get a chance to go to one of those things? So we went and I made him promise not to let me laugh at anything inappropriate ('cause let's face it, yes I'll be wearing a white dress, and that's one thing, but there's a whole world of other stuff in this realm that's down-right funny).
The first time I had to stifle a laugh was seeing the teddy bears in dresses and suits strapped to the front of all the wedding cars. Every wedding car display featured some sort of stuffed toy or beanie-bear dressed to the nines and strapped to the front!!!! C'mon, that's funny!
There were a couple of god-awful table displays, and there was a lady sitting next to a square of astro-turf (who knows what that was about?), but the rest was kind of what you'd expect. Highlights were all the cake samples we got to "taste-test", and the fashion show where all the models were attempting to make it to the end of the catwalk and back in way-too-big-for-them-stilettos.
But the one thing that has impressed us the most.... the photographer who was championing this style:
Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon,
the little dog laughed to see such fun, and the groom ran away with the spoon!
WTF!!!???
Anyway, as you can see I'm trying my darnedest to put all this in perspective. YES, I'll be wearing a white dress at our wedding, but NO we will not have stuffed toys strapped to the front of any forms of transportation, my relatives will have no need to blush at the amount of boob that'll be on display, I will not be wearing a veil so tall and poofy it touches the tree's or so long it nets and captures small children, and we will not be dancing a boxy waltz to Whitney's "I Will Always Love You".
Yes, I'm still a bit nervous about looking like a bride (and the word "bride" does make we quiver a little), but relax people, it's just a dress and just one tiny part of a very full day. Right?
So all that said and done my dress is ready. My Mum and Sister Sparkle are going to pick it up for me this weekend.
There's no turning back now. Anyway, why would I want to? It's pretty.
10 comments:
well, it's pretty. so. . . who cares, right? pretty is all that counts in a wedding dress, color is incidental.
but, being a wedding photographer, i know only too well how nutty some weddings are (mariah carey is just the tip of the iceburg!) - - even just shooting engagement sessions and trying to talk people into something "cool" and out of the gazing-into-each-other's-eyes-in-a-field-of-flowers pictures can be a real challenge. mostly, i find i am losing. i'm putting my request in for bride's like you (wink). at the last engagement session i shot i kept thinking about how you said to me that you wouldn't be caught dead lying sexy in a field, all the while i was trying to avoid cleavage shots on a bride to be and her man lying sexy in a field. sigh. i am finding that it is hard to reconcile personal style with what the client wants.
but you my dear, i feel certain, won't have any problems with your personal style shining right through - the dress, your entire big day - it will all be yours and the critics will all be silenced.
(This is why I demure when folks ask me to do the whole wedding photography thing for them... eep!)
I never had that whole try-on-the-dress fiasco, which I kind of regret, but mostly I'm grateful for--my crazy mother made my dress. But I did observe the dress shopping with Kelly, and that was enough. I'm so grateful to read your narrative... that this is all a bit of silliness with a secret joy at it all too.
What matters, to me, is comfort (hence the flip flop, erm, requirement for my bridesmaids, and my own flats the whole night) and a fair amount of prettiness.
But yes, the whole day is the whole day. And you know what? Before, during, after--every wedding I attended as a longing pre-bride to a laughing post, the thing that made me smile the most was the smiles on the faces of the bride and groom. And I think (I hope) you can see the love on our faces in our wedding shots. That's all that matters: is there love? Yes? Ok, good.
xoxoxo
Don't worry, weddings just have that effect on everyone. You could say anything and they would look at you like you are crazy! You'll look fabulous!
I told people I'd be wearing blue and they thought I was crazy. In hindsight I wish I had been wearing a bright Indian fabric gown like I secretly wanted to. I used to print photos and I loved all the Indian wedding photos with bright colours!
lovely flossy,
i was windering if you were going to go to that Expo!
I think yes, you will look like a bride but this IS appropriate because you are getting married! but most importantly, you will look like YOU as a bride- not copied from a magazine from head to toe... with the Flossy slant on the whole bride thing... its still your sense of style and taste and coolness- in a white dress- you are styling the wedding to be like you and Adam, it will be all about celebrating you two...I am dissappointed about the lack of smoke machine....and the bridey pictures you have shown us- lucky I wasn't eating b'fast at the time- are poeple with NO SENSE OF STYLE OR TASTE getting married... you on the other have plenty...
I have to chuckle about the wedding expo. I think I'd rather go to the dentist than something like that!
I'm very glad that you made it through unscathed and didn't end up booking transportation with a soft toy.
oh how exciting, i hope all your plans go well
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I think the color white is about all you will have in common with those other weddings.
And don't announce any of your choices to anybody. Saves them the trouble of making the aghast face. :p
#1 That woman's breasts are out of control.
#2 It's your wedding! You're going to look gorgeous!
I had kinda an untraditional wedding, as you can imagine, and my mom got all weirdy weird about some of the choices I made. When I chose fabric for my dress, I wanted off white. She was like UGH! Tacky! (Usually off white is traditionally worn by people who are already married, etc...) But white, white makes me look like a cow, so off-white it was. And you know what, I was happy!
Of darling Flossy-P:
Can I just start by saying I LOVE MY SCARF. I love it and my french lady cards, you remembered I wanted them.
I was so surprised and happy and thrilled and excited. I love it and so do Angelique and Nadalene. Thank you, the card was lovely. I love you.
Now to the wedding dress. I love white on a bride. I really don't think there is anything prettier (except of course those dresses you showed us worn my Ms. Nasty and Ms. Nastier).
You will look so beautiful. And I seriously don't know why anyone would be shocked.
It will be beautiful and on you it will be extraordinary.
I am so excited to see everything you would think I was right there.
Love this post, but love my scarf even better.
Love Renee xoxoxo
Well I was looking forward to it but know I know the boobs aren't coming out a little disappointed, look how well that worked for Pammy's weddings
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