self portrait

My Illustration Friday attempt for "portrait". (phew I thought I'd never get this up, blogger has been down)

What's the best most fun thing about my new computer? Is it the processor speed faster than lightning? Nope.
Is it the gigantasourus Ram? u-uh.
Could it be the so-wide-it's-like-a-horizon-sitting-on-your-desk monitor? Nay.
It's a teeny bit of software that came with it; Photobooth.
You sit in front of the camera built into the monitor and it projects you back onto the screen. Then you click the button, count to 3, and the whole monitor flashes white light at you as it takes a photo.
So what? Well, the best most fun part is that it has all sorts of effects like a hall of mirrors. I've sat and warped myself into so many unrecognisable shapes it's getting to be a problem.

"Flossy, lets go get dinner ready"
"Okaaaay, just a second" (Mr You goes to kitchen alone)
Snap - Snap- giggle - snap - snap...
(Mr You comes back into computer room 10 mins later to find me STILL laughing at the shape of my own head!) oops.

I've Photoboothed everyone who has come to visit. Most photo's end up as the tops of peoples heads from them bending in fits of hysterical laughter. But I've also got wide smiles, tall foreheads, and stretched necks. I'm building up quite a library, should ever I need to blackmail one of my friends.

It makes it much more entertaining to create a self portrait than sitting in front of a mirror. This little illo is a somewhat less hysterical homage to Photobooth and the joy it brings, (but in a sombre Frida like pose, with an object of significance).

turning into

This is a painting I did quickly one afternoon many years ago. I sat in front of a mirror and just painted. I remember having a sudden urge to paint using a pallet of colours I otherwise never would (which is seriously clashing with the colours on this blog). The funny thing is that when I painted this I didn't look anything like this, partly because it's hard to paint yourself and make it look like you, but also at the time I had short blonde hair.

Coincidentally I came across this painting while rummaging through folders under my bed last week.
I hadn't seen it in ages, and funnily I actually look a lot more like this now, at least 5 years later, than I did when I painted it...
(well, I'm still not aqua, and would love to still have skin this taught and glowy, but I now have long dark hair at least).

anything with spots

Along with a set of blood red flanelette bed sheets and the Birthday Book, for my birthday my mum bought me this purse. I LOVE it. It's a bit too big for a purse and is more like a very small bag.

I haven't used it yet, but am dying to.

eric

	This week at life drawing classes we set the twigs aside and were back to using charcoal again. I really don't feel like I'm getting the hang of it. Most of my drawings this week looked like jelly babies, round and featurless. I don't mind this one though. We started using tone this week and also practiced hard and soft edges.
	This was a quicker one, half finished, but ended up being my favourite of the night. Usually the models remain ambiguous and don't make eye contact. This week Eric the model not only made eye contact during his poses, he also chuckled at our facial expressions of concentration and frustration. He kept making jokes, and came around to look at our sketches after each pose, commenting "she likes my legs", or "tickling my armpits". He was quite the character.
	Mr You was on fire this week. Look at this awsome sketch. The teacher sat behind us almost the entire night watching him sketching and rub out. At one point she marvelled at how William Kentridge his sketches are.
	This one is a close up of the previous one. I really love it. This one will get framed too (we're going to need a much bigger house).

clear the throat and speak up

This time last year I made the leap from long-time-lurker to first-time-blogger. That’s right people this little blog has chugged through a whole year and to tell you the truth, I can’t work out if I can’t believe it or if I can.

I had no great expectations when I started. I’d lurked for a long time and was very good at it. I obsessed over other people’s blogs and was besotted with Illustration Friday from the very beginning, but I almost never commented or left any trace of presence.

I sat in the shadows and watched closely for almost 3 years before flossy was handed the mic.

This process over the past year has initiated many unexpected changes. I used to feel like I had to muster up a whole bunch of courage before feeling like it was okay to voice my opinion or show my real self. I’ve always been somewhat bubbly, but bubbles are easy to hide behind.

The biggest shift has been learning to feel like it’s normal and okay to speak. I don’t need to summon all my bravery just to prepare for being noticed.
A bigger challenge has been the same process with illustrations; trying to get that same feeling of ‘okay’ and normality when showing illustrations, (mind you this one I’m still working on).

I started this whole caper for the sole purpose of participating in Illustration Friday. Before that I hadn’t lifted a paintbrush in many years. I forced myself to start and to keep going. Initially it felt okay because nobody knew me and I didn’t matter.
(In fact Mr You still jokes about my first i-Fri entry breaking the record for being the shortest lived entry in history. I think it was posted to the Illustration Friday site only about 3 or 4 minutes before the topic rolled over).

Little did I know what else I would gain. The most unexpected glee has come from the friendship. I never knew that ongoing kind, supportive, encouraging comments from strangers could provide such fuel, inspiration and comfort.

Now as the orchestra booms out and before I start sobbing into my pink tafetta Oscars frock ah-laa Gwenyth Paltrow, and thanking everyone I’ve ever brushed past, I’ll wrap it up.

I’m really loving this you know. I sit at work and can’t wait to get home everyday to see what’s been going on with all you guys. It’s so much fun and much warmer out of the shadows. Thank-you.


The strange dichotomy I find myself in is that this has become such a big part of who I am now, but no-one knows about it. Nope, that’s right, no-one I know in the real world (except my most devoted reader Mr You) knows anything about it. Not my family or my sister, or anyone at work or even my closest friends. This was intentional initially, I was scared, and I thought I might censor myself. I’ve started showing some of them my drawings recently, but flossy is a giant secret. Now it’s been going so long I feel weird just dropping it in conversation…
“Oh by the way best friend/mum/only sister, I am flossy-p” (the only p in the village!)
Oops, I seem to have cast myself another shadow.
But there IS the added benefit of leading a sort-of superhero lifestyle – waiting, aware that at any moment I may need to slip off to the nearest stationary cupboard or phone booth for a quick costume change. I think my costume may consist of a quilted patchwork cape, a lowercase p embroidered on my chest and maybe a pink feather somewhere.

inner grin

Yesterday I felt the warmth of an inner grin all day after reading Love Squalor's kind post about a gift I had sent her. Isn't it just plain cool that you can make friends with people you've never even met?

After my elation of last week this week has been quite low, flat and I'd rather not be part of it. I'm trying not to dwell on it. Anyway the inner grin was what I needed to paddle on. Look up.

Looking up I'm getting really excited about a swap that Shoofly and I have organised. She is going to paint me a picture and I am going to make her a bag. This will be my first crafty swap. Looking forward to a weekend of sewing.

Looking upon and lusting after Johanna's amazing birthday gift, a necklace made by Nina.

cup cake

My Illustration Friday attempt for "cake".

There are bound to be many Marie's in blog land this week, and why shouldn't there be? Who could dispute such a woman? (actually the answer to this question is 'Thousands'). But she's a woman of my own heart, a cake-loving woman.

If nothing else, I must say, I'd be pretty pleased with myself if my only legacy was a quote such as "Let them eat cake"!!!