Is it bad to wish yourself backwards? I wish I was myself a year ago. What does that say about where I am now? Or about how far away it feels? And how far away the next place seems?
The stepping stones are too wide apart.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Friday, November 25, 2005
i'm a cowboy...
..."COWBOY!... on a steel horse I ride. And I’m wanted...WANTED... dead or alive..."
I’ve just gotten home, a little hoarse and dizzy from a night of over-enthusiastic karaoke. My friend Jiang is leaving our work to move back to China, and in a dramatic send off we all sang loudly at her for a couple of hours. Under a glow-in-the-dark imitation of Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus” on the wall in one of those private rooms, in one of those classy establishments, we belted out some hot-rockin’ trax like there was no tomorrow. We’re so sophisticated.
There were certainly some stand out numbers that will prevent Jiang from ever wanting to return to this fair land, which of course was all part of the elaborate plan to make it easier for her to leave. I did my bit; I partook in a duet of Blondie’s “Call Me”. Other than that I contracted a strange condition, or perhaps an electrical fault of some sort, that saw my voice silenced each time a microphone was pointed in my direction. Much like a wild dog, I prefer to howl in a pack.
You see I can not, I repeat not sing. I like to try (in the safety of a loud crowd or a soundproof car), but in all reality I’m much more of the drag queen type myself. I’ll do the moves, and I know all the words, but along with Betty-Boo and Milli Vanilli, I’m designed purely for lip-synching. Top of the Pops here I come!
“Call Me. On the line. Call me. Call me any day or night. Call Me!”
I’ve just gotten home, a little hoarse and dizzy from a night of over-enthusiastic karaoke. My friend Jiang is leaving our work to move back to China, and in a dramatic send off we all sang loudly at her for a couple of hours. Under a glow-in-the-dark imitation of Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus” on the wall in one of those private rooms, in one of those classy establishments, we belted out some hot-rockin’ trax like there was no tomorrow. We’re so sophisticated.
There were certainly some stand out numbers that will prevent Jiang from ever wanting to return to this fair land, which of course was all part of the elaborate plan to make it easier for her to leave. I did my bit; I partook in a duet of Blondie’s “Call Me”. Other than that I contracted a strange condition, or perhaps an electrical fault of some sort, that saw my voice silenced each time a microphone was pointed in my direction. Much like a wild dog, I prefer to howl in a pack.
You see I can not, I repeat not sing. I like to try (in the safety of a loud crowd or a soundproof car), but in all reality I’m much more of the drag queen type myself. I’ll do the moves, and I know all the words, but along with Betty-Boo and Milli Vanilli, I’m designed purely for lip-synching. Top of the Pops here I come!
“Call Me. On the line. Call me. Call me any day or night. Call Me!”
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Sunday, November 20, 2005
entertaining the littlens
This weekend was spent entertaining Mr You’s sister and her children, who were in town for a few days. Coming to a city is a very exciting time for the kids, so we took them to see a few things that hopefully stick in their memories for a while.
Yesterday we took them to see the Sculpture by the Sea exhibition, which is an annual event hosted along the headland between Bondi and Tamarama beaches. It’s a spectacular backdrop for some stunning sculptures. I loved the glass fence, and the kinetic wind and solar antennas, but I think the standout piece this year was the giant scaffolding wave.
Today we went to the aquarium and set about on the quintessential hunt for Nemo. Fish are cool. There’s one great room in there set up like a little amphitheatre with the lights down low and classical music up loud, so you can sit and watch giant cute flat-faced silver fish dance in unison before you. I also loved watching the octopus gracefully untangle its tentacles before twisting them back up again as it shifted position. I absolutely love the manta rays, but once again I had a favourite, and this time it was the “moon jelly fish”. The tank was entirely dark except for a red spotlight making the jelly fish shine iridescent red, and they undulated in and out like slow motion fireworks.
Our quest to awe the kids seemed to work, but the plan to wear them out failed. I’ve held little hands, ran and chased, and been given more slappy affectionate hugs around my legs than I can remember. Although my own name was almost worn right out from it being called out repeatedly all weekend, (usually followed by “Come over here” or “Look at this!”).
Our 5 year old buddy (as Mr You and I sat on the couch with him last night) announced he wanted to do “who’s the cutest”. His mum shook her head in that “I don’t think so” way, but he continued…
“Do you want to know which one of you is the cutest?”…
I won’t say if it was Mr You or I who won the highly sought after award, but I WILL say that he is now my very favourite 5 year old!
(plus he taught me how to beat-box by saying “books”, or “b-k-s” over and over again really fast).
Yesterday we took them to see the Sculpture by the Sea exhibition, which is an annual event hosted along the headland between Bondi and Tamarama beaches. It’s a spectacular backdrop for some stunning sculptures. I loved the glass fence, and the kinetic wind and solar antennas, but I think the standout piece this year was the giant scaffolding wave.
Today we went to the aquarium and set about on the quintessential hunt for Nemo. Fish are cool. There’s one great room in there set up like a little amphitheatre with the lights down low and classical music up loud, so you can sit and watch giant cute flat-faced silver fish dance in unison before you. I also loved watching the octopus gracefully untangle its tentacles before twisting them back up again as it shifted position. I absolutely love the manta rays, but once again I had a favourite, and this time it was the “moon jelly fish”. The tank was entirely dark except for a red spotlight making the jelly fish shine iridescent red, and they undulated in and out like slow motion fireworks.
Our quest to awe the kids seemed to work, but the plan to wear them out failed. I’ve held little hands, ran and chased, and been given more slappy affectionate hugs around my legs than I can remember. Although my own name was almost worn right out from it being called out repeatedly all weekend, (usually followed by “Come over here” or “Look at this!”).
Our 5 year old buddy (as Mr You and I sat on the couch with him last night) announced he wanted to do “who’s the cutest”. His mum shook her head in that “I don’t think so” way, but he continued…
“Do you want to know which one of you is the cutest?”…
I won’t say if it was Mr You or I who won the highly sought after award, but I WILL say that he is now my very favourite 5 year old!
(plus he taught me how to beat-box by saying “books”, or “b-k-s” over and over again really fast).
Friday, November 18, 2005
another clicky link
Another lovely link I could dance around all day (if I didn't have to go to work): One girl garden
Thursday, November 17, 2005
demons and foibles
My Illustration Friday entry for 'strength'.
Facing your demons and foibles takes courage. But staying to deal with them takes strength and determination. Then knowing whether to slay them or offer them support and nurturing is a whole other thing altogether.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
things to write home about
- My new hero is Jen for opening her totally awsome new store
- My new favourite artist is Joe Sorren
- I've always had a soft spot for installation art: Jen Kim
- Another arty link, this time it's Mini Graff's intricate stencils
- Next is some of the most adorable crafty loveliness I ever seen, all wrapped up in the shape of baby shoes by Catarina
- And the last one... Well I'm not exactly sure HOW to explain the last one (I'm not sure the laws of physics could either), but if you're at work or in a public place, you may want to construct a privacy hut over your monitor out of paperclips and folders for this one.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
a heady revenge
Can someone please tell me what Australian Vogue were thinking when they chose THIS photo for the cover of this months issue?! Maybe it was to extend their sales to freakish types who respond well to a head that’s on backwards. (it sort of worked actually because I don’t normally buy magazines, but I had to get this one for that reason).I don’t understand. The whole magazine is filled with this so-skinny-it’s-insect-like (but unusual and very pretty in a Mark Ryden way) creature. And the rest of the photo’s show her head looking normal; facing the front of her body as we’ve all come to expect. So WHY, I repeat, did they choose this photo for the cover, where her head is clearly on backwards?!
We were walking past a newsagent window one day when Mr You and I first saw this. We caught a glimpse in our peripheral vision; we twirled back for a better look and recoiled in horror at the grotesqueness of the aforementioned head.
My circuits were sent into a flurry; “Does not compute. Does not compute.” Nothing in my memory could recall such a formation, and the only thing that came close was the scene in The Labyrinth when the Fireys (who pulled off each others heads) attacked Sarah, yelling out “PULL OFF HER HEAD!”. But even then I recall the scene ending with her escaping to distant background calls of “HEY, HER HEAD DON’T COME OFF!”They’re right you know. Human heads aren’t supposed to come off. The only thing I can think of to explain this terrible choice in cover photography is that the relationship went sour. I mean she is ALL the way through this issue, in every feature, every catwalk, every fashion shoot, and even every interview somehow comes back to her.
Perhaps after all of that the staff just got sick of her, or maybe she down right pissed them off in some way. Contractually they still had to run with her, hell they’d put all their eggs in one basket, they had nothing else to replace her with, not on that many pages. So in revenge they picked the worst photo they could find of her, (the photo taken at a weird moment when she pulled her head back to avoid a passing blowfly) and boldly stuck it on the cover for the whole country to gasp at.
Moral of the story?:
- Well maybe it’s do all you can to keep a professional relationship in good working order, at least until the mags have hit the stands.
- Write a clause in your contract that all photo’s of you must be viewed and approved by your fussiest family member before they can go to print.
- Or, if you are insect-like creature, quickly swallow the passing blowfly, never pull your head back to avoid it!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
it had to be done
| You Belong in London |
 A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well. |
| Your Life is Like |
 Serendipity |
Your Inner Retro Girl Is |
 |
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
i can't get no sat-tis-fac-tion
Is it a sign of inspiration or dissatisfaction when your mind won’t quit? I’ve been overloaded in thoughts of things I could make. I’m sketching madly and buying fabric and ribbons and trims, but have hardly any time to actually make any of them. I spent most of Sunday sewing, but keeping the confidence is something of a struggle at the moment. Elle and Kilkenny popped around on Sunday afternoon, we sat in the shade of the tree on our grassy patch out the back drinking icy cold water. I showed them the cushions I’d been sewing, and told them of my plan to make crafty things to sell.
“How much do you expect to get for them?” they asked
“Oh, maybe $10 or $20 if I’m lucky”
With that they reached into their wallet and offered me $10, (in a gesture that said “why work all day long for $10? Isn’t your Sunday worth more than that?”)
It got me thinking. I mean they’re right, right? But still, there’s something more to all of this. Like I said at the beginning it’s a sign of dissatisfaction in what I’m currently doing that I’m considering these things in the first place. And I’m lucky that there’s inspiration at the same time otherwise I’d just be feeling crappy. At very least it’s giving me a bit of hope. Hope, I suppose, that there are alternate ways of living in this world that don’t involve commuting in peak hour and working 9 to 6 or 7pm at a desk all week long. I’m growing so weary of that.
There are people out there who do it; who earn a living in more flexible ways, and from sources that are more authentic to who they are. And the only difference I can see between them and the rest of us, is that they are actually doing it. They don’t have this conflict of confidence that stops them from even starting, and at the risk of sounding like I’m promoting a brand of sport shoe: they just do it!
I’m not jumping in head deep. I’m not expecting to earn a living from craft. I’m just doing things that I enjoy doing and seeing where it leads, if anywhere. I mean that’s what the wise always tell us right – “Find something you like doing, and do it well”?
My first hurdle is to stop worrying about it all and just start FOR GOD SAKE! (I’m not sure who invented doubt, but I’m sure they didn’t intend it to be used in these instances.)
I’ve been quiet this week, and now you’re probably glad of it. But thanks for listening through all this thick anxiety. And thanks to those who lead the way and inspire me more every day: Jen at Piddleloop, Amy at Angry Chicken, Hillary at Wee Wonderfuls, and all the rest of you crafty vixens.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
brink of insanity
I want it! I need it! I must have it! It’s mine, aaaalll mine. Yes, yes, come to me my precious. Exxxxcellent. Huh? Wha!? I can’t afford that! I’ll spend MORE. Waaaait! That’s not fair! It’s just not fair! Hang on! Damn it! Shit! I can’t stand this!
I hate ebay!
Mr You chuckles at me when I use language and chuck a tantrum worthy of a spoilt bratty 6 year old. He’s a veteran when it comes to ebay, but I’m a not so sparkling newby. Let’s just say I’m having a rough period of adjustment. I’m use to the theory that if you see something you like (usually in a shop), you can have it, if you can pay for it and manage to get to it before anyone else. Ebay is shopping, but not as I know it.
I’m trying to build up my profile with lots of AAAAAA+ style feedback, but to do this you have to buy stuff, and there’s the hitch. I don’t want to just buy any old thing, just for the sake of it, I’m looking for things I would actually like to own. Finding cool things is easy, in fact I find things that are absolutely perfect – things I need – things I can’t do without, but I just can’t seem to clinch the deal. I try. I bid and watch and outbid, I check the currency converters, and push the budget, and then inevitably loose every single time. I just can’t stand it.
It’s turning me into a greedy, selfish, bad tempered, obsessed consumer. I don’t need those things. I’d like them, but I’ve got more than enough as it is. I’m fortunate and surrounded by lots of pretty things, and accumulating more stuff is not where I should be focussing my attention. No More. That’s it! I’m putting my foot down. No More I say.
But…
Have you seen this?
And This?
And these?
Oooh, I’ve got to get one of these lenses…
I hate ebay!
Mr You chuckles at me when I use language and chuck a tantrum worthy of a spoilt bratty 6 year old. He’s a veteran when it comes to ebay, but I’m a not so sparkling newby. Let’s just say I’m having a rough period of adjustment. I’m use to the theory that if you see something you like (usually in a shop), you can have it, if you can pay for it and manage to get to it before anyone else. Ebay is shopping, but not as I know it.
I’m trying to build up my profile with lots of AAAAAA+ style feedback, but to do this you have to buy stuff, and there’s the hitch. I don’t want to just buy any old thing, just for the sake of it, I’m looking for things I would actually like to own. Finding cool things is easy, in fact I find things that are absolutely perfect – things I need – things I can’t do without, but I just can’t seem to clinch the deal. I try. I bid and watch and outbid, I check the currency converters, and push the budget, and then inevitably loose every single time. I just can’t stand it.
It’s turning me into a greedy, selfish, bad tempered, obsessed consumer. I don’t need those things. I’d like them, but I’ve got more than enough as it is. I’m fortunate and surrounded by lots of pretty things, and accumulating more stuff is not where I should be focussing my attention. No More. That’s it! I’m putting my foot down. No More I say.
But…
Have you seen this?
And This?
And these?
Oooh, I’ve got to get one of these lenses…
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