a wall challenge

I’ve mentioned our new government before, so I’m not going to go on and get all political on this blog. But I do want to talk something through….

The Background:
Yesterday our new Prime Minister presented an apology in parliament to the Aboriginal people of Australia for what has been named the stolen generation. It was broadcast practically everywhere and was a huge event. (Again I’m not going to go into all the history and details, but it’s well worth looking into, so I’ll put some links at the end of this post for those who would like to become educated about the topic).

A-ny-way…

The Catalyst:
In general I have avoided facebook like the plague, but yesterday there was a movement for people to change their status to “is sorry”, i.e. "flossy-p is sorry". My friend Henna noticed that one of her facebook friends (I’ll use her initials) had changed hers to: “KH is not going to apologize for something she didn't do, it goes against all of her principles.”

Henna was livid at this and has apparently "challenged her on her wall". Again, being a non-facebooker I don’t know what this entails, but it kind of sounds like it may require the use of jousting poles.

A-ny-way… it got me thinking.

My Point:
There are two types of sorry aren’t there? There’s a sorry of apologizing for something you’ve done, and there’s a sorry that offers sympathy and love and asks forgiveness.

It got me wondering why people have trouble saying sorry. Is it because those people have apologized for things (it’s generally one of the first manor-related things we’re taught as children), yet they have never had the opportunity to learn how to be truly sorry?

I mean, as an example, it’s the kind of sorry you say to a friend who's parent or child has just died. Of course you may never have known that parent of child yourself, and you are not personally responsibly for them dying, but you still offer your sorry, your deep sympathy, as a way of summing up all the other things you're feeling (I didn't know them, but if I could have I would have changed the way things turned out... I'm hurting deeply just thinking about what you've been through, let alone having to go through it myself, I'm so sorry it's you that has to do that... I’m sorry this is so painful for you… I'm sorry that no matter what happens this is going to scar you forevermore... I'm thinking of you... etc)

That type of sorry is the acceptance of responsibility too, but it’s the kind that demonstrates an intention for you to step up, be strong, and give a part of yourself to those who need it. A promise that you will do what you can to improve the future for that person (or those people). It takes strong people to be able to be open and selfless enough to extend those heartfelt sentiments, without resorting to feeling defensive.

In fact, come to think of it, the first kind of sorry I mentioned; apologies, may benefit a whole lot from a pinch of the second kind.

Some Links:
So anyway, for the specifics of why the “sorry” that was shared yesterday had such importance:
- What is the stolen generation
- What was said during the apology
- An article about the day around the country
- One man's personal reaction