with added plumpness

So, I’m not the most girly of girls when it comes to the regimes of beauty, skin care, hair care and fancy nails. I’ll admit I dye my hair, have more products than I need for this and that, and I can’t remember the last time I left the house without at least a quick lashing of mascara, but I like to think I don’t fall for gimmicks.

I maintain a healthy cynicism when those ads come on t.v. touting the newest “technologies” from the “institutes”.

t.v.: “…noticeably lengthens your lashes up to 3 times”
me: “HA! And how, prey-tell does it do that?”

t.v.: “…a new ultra shine lip gloss with actual diamond shine particles, for real diamond shine”
me: “ Real diamond shine particles? What is a diamond shine particle exactly? Who’d fall for that?”

t.v.: “…new foundation with added caffeine to wake up your skin!”
me: “Marketing team comes to the rescue after Beryl spills her coffee in the mixing cylinder.”

But every now and then, in a moment of weakness (usually after accruing a new wrinkle), I get sucked in…

… BIG TIME!

It’s mega. It’s plump. It’s hot. It’s pouting. According to Jonni on the packet “Plump lips are soooo sexy”, AND claims “…to keep you healthy looking and beautiful forever”.

And I tell you, it really works!
Well, it sort of works… …it might work.
Okay okay, I can’t see any difference… at all.
So I’m a mega, plump, hot, pouting sucker.

Mr You couldn’t believe I put it on for the first time yesterday morning, he thought he could notice plumpness already. “You’re crazy! You should have tried it on a weekend first. What if it kicks in half way through the day while you’re at work, and something hideous occurs!? Like on The Nutty Professor.”

He ogled my lips intently, waiting for some kind of sudden movement. Then, as I attempted to kiss him goodbye, he held me at arms length with all his might.
“Stay away, I don’t want that stuff on my lips!”
There was a struggle and then some chasing, but eventually I landed a kiss square on his forehead.

Then I headed off to work feeling “sooooo sexy”, leaving him fearing the sudden onset of a plump luscious lump in the middle of his forehead for the rest of the day. Worth every cent I tell you.