This time last year I had just left my job to "go it alone", and was attempting to get used to a new lifestyle. Uncanny that it's the same time a year later, and I feel like I'm doing it all over again, having moved to a new town. Getting used to this new lifestyle, in words, sounds like a breeze. I mean in both cases the new option seems like a much nicer one right? And it is. They are. And this past year has been amazing. But big changes are just that: big changes. Adjusting is a process in itself, and every moment seems to conjure more analysis than it would normally deserve.I'm pondering (as though you couldn't tell). Friends from Sydney were suppose to be coming this weekend to stay with us for a week, but today they cancelled. I feel disappointed that we won't see them. It marked a point for me to get to, and now it's not happening. I've suddenly realised we really are "going it alone".
So there's a few big adjustments stacked on top of each other at the moment, teetering on my shoulders, both trying to siphon through the same sieve.
But it is exciting, and to think it’s all happened in this past year has me feeling somewhat triumphant. Although for the time being at least, I’m treading gently.
Padding steadily across a lawn with unknown insects underfoot.
p.s. This post has been edited since it's original posting. Thank-you sincerely for your supportive comments. .xx.
3 comments:
Wow, I don't know about anyone else here, but I truly appreciate your openness and honesty in this post. It couldn't have been easy to tell us that and I feel priviledged to be trusted. You should feel triumphant with all that you have accomplished this year...and I'm glad you feel the excitement of change. I totally understand that adjustments are difficult...especially really big ones...all at once. But something I've noticed about you is that you push on. You get through it. And it becomes a giant learning experience and you become a bigger and better person because of it. I know that you feel unstable and alone in this right now, but you have one friend (at least) in me...even across the world...who's here to help you explore new grass...and squash the scary bugs. *hugs*
This is wonderful! All of these changes are fantastic. I know they must feel overwhelming at times but they mean you are growing, moving, travelling and you aren't standing still. To me, stagnation is one of the worst things you can do for yourself.
Leaving therapy can be scary. We used to move every two to three years, state to state at different ends of the country and even different parts of the world and the first thing I would do is hook up with a new therapist. Until the last one when she said that she felt like she was getting more from me than I was from her and it was then that I realized I had conqured my demons a long time ago. I just assumed they were still there and the main reason I was seeing a new therapist at each new place because it was kind of like buying a friend. I had some one to talk to once a week.
You are going to do great, I can't wait to see what the next year will bring to you.
I feel special that you shared this with me (us), even if only for a short time (until you may decide to delete it).
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