close one door, open a window

I've recently made a big decision. I've decided to take a rest from wedding photography for now. I've had a little business on the side (completely separate from my full-time day job) doing wedding photography for about 6 years. It's never been massive, I started because I LOVED doing it, and it was a creative outlet for me at the time. (Don't worry, I'm trained).

However these days I have this space for a creative outlet, and it's much less stressfull and less exhausting. Whenever I do a wedding shoot now it seems to be a lot of work; I guess it always was, but I used to love it so much I never noticed. I never wanted to feel like it was a job, it was always suppose to be a passion. So I think it's time to "shelve it" for a while.

I still have to shut down my photography site to make it official, or at least re-do it to be more of a gallery and less of a portfolio. That will be the last step I suppose... gulp.

Since I made this decision I've been riding a little wave of emotion. Guilt, feeling like I've just given up, a little bit of shame that I'm not pushing it further... but now that's subsiding and I'm starting to feel a sense of freedom, space to do something new, excitement!

I need to remind myself that I don't need to do everything all at once, change is good, and now it's time to make way for a new phase to begin.
Change is good, change is good, change is good.
Do it now, do it now, do it now.

made

Feeling happy after spending much of the weekend making little things and sewing.

I made this little spotty flower button for my jacket, and some other things, (which I'll save up as a surprise once I've made a few more).

I've been brimming with ideas lately and wishing and hoping that I could forget all about going to work, just so I could stay home and keep on at it. Ahhh what I lovely thought. Monday mornings are never fun, but I'm thinking this one is going to be particularly difficult.

murphy's law

“Sucked-In!” Mr You exclaimed pointing at me from across the room, “I told you it was good”.

“What?” I replied, bewildered and stunned, scratching my still bed-haired head. Unaware of what was going on.

I’d been sitting there for about 5 mins looking at the swollen comment count on my ‘opposites’ illo post (before reading them), through my bleary morning eyes, trying to work out what went wrong, mumbling to myself…
“Oh, jeez I must have stuffed something up when I published that post last night, my comments have duplicated themselves… Oh hang on, maybe Blogger is having a freak out…”

Then I caught a glimpse of a few words in the comments; “pick of the week” “congratulations”, just as Mr You’s “Sucked-In!” came at me from across the room. He had already worked out that my illustration had made this week's Illustration Friday's Pick of the Week!
(Note: Sucked-in is what high school kids yell out instead of saying “Oh, that’s too bad”)

He’d been telling me all week that he thought my fishy-illo was a good one, and I’d spent all week telling him reasons why I thought it wasn’t. So the pick-of-the-week thing was a complete victory for him.

We laughed as the reality and irony of it sunk in; the week I do an illo that is even too weird for me to appreciate is the one and only week the spotlight shines in my direction. HA!

Luckily having a good laugh at myself is not unusual, and I am really thrilled!
Thank-you for your congratulations, and your visits and all those excellent comments, I really really thrive on them.

For newcomers, it’s nice to meet you. I haven't really achieved a consistent style yet, but don’t normally do illos like this, so feel free to check out a few old ones that I have liked much better:

Sacrifice, from July 06

Self Portrait, from June 06

Fat, from May 06

Spotted, from April 06

Tattoo, from March 06

Also, to spread the love, here are a few (of the many many many) i-Fri people who’s illustrations I really enjoy:
Some Time Soon
Theo Design
Three Ravens Press
Troglodyte Mignon
Mutt Ink
Roz Foster
Sweet Pea
Loontown Tinies
Shoofly
Bunshine
Because It's Fun
Mumspotting
Too Many Thoughts
Reimao
Lil Kim
Joy Eliz
Amy Zaleski
Irisz at Artista blog
Dudadaze
Angelato
Smoen
and of course our almighty queen, Penelope

how to brighten a cold winter's day

So I saw this purse today, I know I'm probably not going to actually use it, and I don't know anyone who would even like it (so it can't go to the future-present box), but I simply had to buy it.

You know that feeling when you see something in a shop and you just feel too mean to let it go one more night alone and cold in a dark empty shop, and you just have to adopt it? Well, that's kinda what happened here today. But little pink birdy purse was a total bargain, got it on sale for $4. Well worth the adoption I think. Now, I just have to think of something nifty to do with her.

opposites

My Illustration Friday attempt for "opposites".

Oh Lordy, what is this? What was I thinking?!!! 'Opposites' should have been easy right? I don't know what happened, I just resorted to thinking... well ballons and fish? They're opposite right? How about a fish and a brick? No, bricks aren't very exciting to draw... a fish and a typewriter? And that was it. It's kinda dumb, I know. Sorry.

I logged my illo under "medium: watercolour", "illustration style: other" because, well, what the hell is this?

what's a girl to do

What’s a girl to do when her boy is out of town? Party hard? No no no…

1) Wait around all weekend to see Shakira in the new video clip, because that always cheers a girl up… (I waited, but it never came on – Strike one)
2) Stay up late watching crap chic-flicks on TV, and end up becoming compelled that they are so true and such an important pastiche about life (but seriously, John Cusack is really good in those roles isn’t he? Isn't he?)
3) Usually you keep yourself so occupied (to avoid realising you’re lonely) that you forget to go to bed , this time you remember to go to bed, but forget to go to sleep (yaaawn, Strike two)
4) To help this matter you create a boy-like effigy in the bed next you using his unused pillows and some hot water bottles, filled to a warm temperature, just so you can feel like he’s there sleeping next to you as you lie in bed and try to fall asleep.
5) Accidentally swallow at least 3 ants in a cup of tea! (I told you! Strike three)

ants

Mr You is away visiting his family. It only took one day of him being gone before things started to come undone.

I got home last night to find ants on a mass migration through the kitchen. Taking over!

The strangest part is that their trail runs through the cupboards, past the normal flour, the self raising flour, corn flour, brown sugar, white sugar, raw sugar, castor sugar, cocoa powder, desiccated coconut, herbal teas, an aray of vitamins, cereal...
Then, get this, they end at the kettle. They can't need water, it hasn't stopped bucketing down rain here for days. If they were thirsty they could just stay outside, look up and open their itty bitty mouths.

What do they want? I wiped their trail away, swilled out the kettle, and left stacks of little lost disoriented ants raoming around in circles. Then when I came back there were even more coming out of the kettle. They're not in the main part where the water is, they're coming out from under the handle at the top. What doooo theeeey want? Mr You.....?

This morning they're back, they've created a new trail. What should I do? They are too cute to kill, especially now they're my only household company. But if they're not careful I'm going to end up accidentally swallowing a whole tribe.